Food isnt always good for you..

Have you ever wondered why you are still Fat? Why you still look at your self in the mirror and think "I'm not beautiful" Why you NEVER agree with people when they tell you, you look "amazing" or "Hot" or "stunning". Why you look at them like they are all crazy and in reality You are the one that's nutz? Well I have been dealing with those thought for a very long time. I have been so guilty in looking at myself and saying my not beautiful. I'm fat. I'm gross. I sometimes look at think I have a LONG way to go before feeling good. When I was in high school I was part of the Volleyball team. I felt amazing. I was kinda popular and in the in crowd. Boys liked me. I Liked them. I was a tease. and i would walk in the room like i was the someone. I havnt felt like that for about 6 years. Not that i want to feel conceded but Confident. I want to look at myself and feel great. Say thank you to those that think i look good. and not roll my eyes. What you are about to read i have been working on a few days. I have been thinking over and over again if i should even post this. Because its raw. its my feelings. Its my insecurities. and I fear that people might look at me like I'm crazy or talk behind my back. But the point to this blog was to be real. Real with me. to be real with you and just take steps to better myself. if i talk about the down side and talk about what I struggle with i will be able to face it and just deal.

This weight loss is much deeper then I thought. It has more struggles then just being "thin". Its not about how much I have ate but why I eat so much. Its not about being lazy But why i really don't want to go to the gym. It isn't about one cheat day but about all the times i eat because Im emotional.

about 5 days ago. I dealt with something that I had to deal with a long time ago. I finally was honest and didn't hide. It was so hard for me to call Eric and just tell him what i did and how I felt when i did it. Have any of you binged on food because you were sad. Mad. Scared. tired. Just because. Well I did. This has been such a hard sesion in my life. With family and some friends and just my own hatred towards me. I have taking most of those things personally and when i do I want to hide the pain so I go to find comfort. I had a rough day and didn't eat all day. So I pack on some food sat and watch a movie and just ate. I felt sooo gross afterwards. I hated myself even more and i wanted to throw up. I started to cry and it finally hit me "I have to stop this" Food isn't making me happy. Its making me worst. So instead of dealing with it alone, I called Eric that night at work and told him everything i ate and WHY i did it. Funny thing is that after talking to him, he and i realized that i didn't eat much. Lucky for my my stomach is shrinking... LOL BUT that fact that i was feeling sad and went to food to hide my feelings wasn't good at all. So I have to change the way I think. when i feel sad I have to talk. I have to pray ,read the word keep myself from going into bad habits. I have look at myself in the mirror and Love me for who i am today. Not what i want to be tomorrow or who I was 6 years ago.

Im here to say that I have been unable to do this alone. BUT I'm here to change. Im here to stay strong. Im here to improve not only the pounds i want to lose but the way I view my life. im very blessed and i take my life for granted. i take those that really care for granted and i cant do it anymore. In just this past week of me blogging i have receive 5 emails about girls that will now change because of the few things that i have sad. i have had people thank me for talking this step and helping them realize that they need to live a healthier life. I dont know how I feel about it yet. i might have started this blog for me but Im now doing it for others as well. I don't want to fall but if i do i want to get up that next min and continue instead of waiting 3 months to start again. Eat when hungry dont use it as a drug. It will only push you back and make you feel worst.

Here's to a healthy booty
~Cynthia

Its better with Company!

So as you all know the reason for my blog is to keep people updated in how i am doing with my weight lost journey. To keep my myself from slipping. To keep you guys updated on healthy foods and snacks that Ive been trying out and will be trying. I went WW (Weight Watchers) a while ago and 2 of my Friends joined me. I was able to talk to them and they helped me push through it. Well I'm about to start back at WW on Monday (hahahaha). I feel like going to a group meeting will help even more with what I'd like to accomplish. I had lost 35lbs in 2 months from eating right and working out when i was at WW. I know it works. Being around ppl that have the same goal is very helpful. Not only will I be going to a weekly meeting but i have a great friend of mine that will be going with me and to the gym. Her and her husband talked about changing the way they eat and being healthier. Her husband is also behind her and that is a great help. Summer is just about 2 months away and I plan to not only look good but FEEL GREAT! Thanks Analiza for joining me. This will be hard work and there will be days we would want to stay home but with each other I know we can accomplish many things.

Here's to OUR healthy booty
~Cynthia

This is what i was talking about

The first day i plan to go back to the gym I get PINK EYE! This is what i was talking about on my last post. Things seem to come up. Well i didn't make it in to the gym BUT i did get a chance to do some sit ups and push up. It wasn't how I wanted to start but hey I did something. I'm having a few issues typing so I'm going to make it short! Hope tomorrow i feel better. Good night!


Here's to a Healthy booty
~Cynthia

I'll start Monday!

You have heard and used that term at least 10times in your life. It always seems like everyone will start on Monday to go to the gym,eat healthy,go on a diet,stop drinking soda and so on. I know this because i myself have used it way more then i've wanted to and I'm guilty right now!
I started hitting the gym like crazy this February and by hitting it I mean 5 time a week. 2 spin classes a week. one lifting class a week. The treadmill and StairMaster daily. But something happens (I get sick,My girls get sick, its snowing outside etc) and I have to stop for a few days. And those few days end up being 45days. Its been about that long since I went to the gym. And all i kept saying was "ill start on Monday" well it would of been good if i did start after that weekend. In my brain I can only work out at the gym and if my girls catch a cold I cant take them in with me so i miss out on working out. That right there is wrong. I have a big house I can miss out on going to the gym but it shouldn't stop me from working out completely. i mean I can do squats. I can do my sit ups. I can do those DVDS that are collecting dust.
So my Monday starts tomorrow!!! i will not wait another 3 days! 3 days is a very long time. It's time I don't have. So let's stop saying "Ill wait till Monday" Let's start tomorrow. Let's start NOW! Our asses cant wait. i know for sure mine can't!

Here's to a healthily booty
~Cynthia

Keeping it LOW Fat

So picture this.. Your home alone. its late at night and you wanna watch a movie. So you pick a GREAT girl one and think a yummy snack will be perfect! But you are reminded that A) your in a low fat low carb diet & B) Its late so you cant have anything too bad. So you remember you bought those 100 calorie pack cookies. You sit and enjoy the movie. Then you realize the movie is over and the 100 cal pack has now been 600cal since you ate the whole box. You Just thought "Oh its only 100 cal" but what you didn't know is that "LOW FAT" snack can easily become a HIGH one. I have to remind myself that every time. A low fat snack has to stay low fat. Its easy to eat healthy and not really think that healthy things can be harmful. A cup of ice cream can easily lead to a whole pint when sitting with friends enjoying time.
I feel like if I'm not apart in everything including what they are eating then I'm not fully there. So I thought to myself how can I be apart of the picture but keep myself away from types of foods I know i shouldn't be eating. Now people will think its weird when i say this. And i only say it because I use to think it was weird/rude when people did it. But For now on i will bring my own snacks. Its not that i don't like eating at peoples houses or eating my friends/family food its just that I have a goal in mind and i need to be very strict about what goes in my body because we all know it will end up in my butt and i wont be happy about it. So the next time i come over and you offer me something I cant eat don't take it the wrong way please. Trust me Ill take bread and chips over 7 almond's any day! Keep the Low fat snacks LOW!!

Here's to a healthy booty!
~Cynthia

Time for a healthy booty

I have been wanting to start blogging again for quite some time. I didn't want to go back and talk about my life and family dram with friends and so on. I wanted it to be inspiring and something I thought would be a great idea to help ME and others. So I started to think of what I was doing that was so Different in my life. Something I thought everyone would take in and understand. Something Big.. Something I wanted to let go of. So i sat down and thought "man I have a BIG ASS" and it hit me.. I need to blog about My ass. Some might think (MEN) this is going to be very good. Well its not. Its about my new weight loss journey its about losing my Fat ass and transforming it into a HEALTHY one. I don't want to buy new jeans and have my butt be a problem anymore. It isn't the only thing I have a problem with it's my thighs and tummy that play a bigger role. I must admit I like having a butt and curves I just need to let go of the nasty squishy rolls and become a healthy toned curvy gal. So here is to a heathly booty One that wont be too much but just right.

~Cynthia